4 Common Reasons That Keep You From Taking Action

Episode #5

In this week’s episode we discuss four common reasons that may be holding you back from taking action to reach the goals you have in your life. Maybe you want to ease up on the sugar. Maybe you want to lose weight. Maybe you want a career change. Maybe you want a better handle on your finances. Maybe you want to show up better for yourself or your husband or children. Whatever it is something is holding you back from achieving what you want. Listen up sisters. Spoiler alert warning. If you do nothing you get nothing.


GET THE FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:


EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Ashley
Welcome to rise up and shine. We are two women at different stages of life who have overcome feeling stuck, and are now living life fully with peace and joy. Join Us Weekly for a real raw and faithful conversation about our trials and triumphs, bringing hope, insight and weekly tips that you too can rise up and let your light shine bright.

Claudine
Welcome back friends. This is Claudine and Ashley. And today we’re going to be talking about actions, the actions we need to take to get the results we want in our lives. Because remember, if you do nothing, you get nothing.

Ashley
Absolutely preparing for this podcast got me thinking a lot about last year. And at the end of summer, I was at a point in my life where I felt really unhappy. And I was sick and tired of feeling that way. And I felt bad about it. I felt a lot of shame, for feeling unhappy. And I think about even what we talked about last week, dis ease, right? So I recall one day I was sitting at the pool, the public pool my family and I have a membership to in the summertime. And I was sitting there at the table, watching my kids and my husband play and swim. And it was my favorite time of the year. I love summer. I love being out in the heat watching my kids play at the pool. And I just remember thinking, I am so unhappy. But I’m so blessed. And I felt so guilty for feeling that way I felt I had the quote unquote dream life. But I just felt this dis ease like we talked about last week, right? And I remember sitting there watching them and I came to a point in my in my mind, something needs to change, something needs to change. I am sick and tired of feeling this way something needs to change. And I was ready from that point on to take action to get to a better place.

Claudine
That’s great. I think back about the lack of action I took I really believed especially in my early 20s and 30s, that things would just be given to me. And I didn’t take a lot of action. I just sat around and waited for things to come my way. And I thought, well, now I’m a Christian, surely I’ll have an amazing marriage, I’m going to have obedient children. And I’m going to have great health and like you said, just happiness and joy. And it’s all going to be given to me. And as the years rolled on, I realized this without action, I was not going to get those results. I had to behave in a way to get the results that I wanted in my life to get that fullness of life that is promised to us.

Ashley
What are some of the common reasons why we may not take action?

Claudine
Well, number one, like for me, I just expected things to come my way I didn’t really understand the concept of work. It gets results. And so I expected a lot of things would just happen for me. I think they call that entitlement these days. But back then, but back then I think I was just called lazy. Another reason people don’t take action is fears. There’s fear of failure, fear of success, so many reasons to fear. And our primitive brains want to keep us safe and comfortable. So it’s constantly talking to us. Be safe, be comfortable. Don’t try that don’t do that you might fail, you might be uncomfortable. So fears definitely high up there. Another one is overthinking and I’m really good at this one overthinking, I have to think and plan and I can think and plan myself right into inactivity, can think and plan all day long, safely on the couch and not take any action and think about how it should be done how all the things I need to get it done. And then I do nothing.

Ashley
You know, what comes to mind for me is perfectionism. Right? So I have certain areas in my life where I need it to go perfect. And I will just sit and contemplate How am I going to do this? What am I going to do and try and plan it in my head. But if I feel there’s any ounce that is not going to be perfect. I won’t do it at all.

Claudine
Yeah, absolutely. I totally agree with that. And definitely that was part for me too. And lastly, another reason that we don’t take action is insecurity. We think I’m not good enough. Who do I think I am to even be trying this or Yeah, it’ll never work for me. I don’t deserve it. And some people even struggle with imposter syndrome.

Ashley
Yeah, imposter syndrome. This is something I learned recently, and I didn’t really understand what it was, but I’ve talked to more people who feel they have imposter syndrome. And I’ve had them elaborate a little and give examples. And so I realized I can have that too. I feel like I’m gonna be found out, you know, well, if I succeed or if I achieve this goal or this dream of mine, somehow I’m going to be found out that well, you’re really not as good at it as you think you are, you know, right and it could really that fear can boil so strongly that I just won’t attempt achieving any of my dreams or goals.

Claudine
Right and that keeps so much Many of us stuck and frustrated or overwhelmed. And basically, we have no forward momentum. And we’re not living the life that we dream of, we’re not living the life we want, we just stay comfortable, and safe and numb and stuck.

Ashley
And our brain is constantly trying to keep us there. That’s right, our brain was designed to be safe, you know, to keep us safe. Our primitive brain, the part of our brain that’s been developed the longest, is wanting to keep us safe. And so it’s as if we’re always fighting that when we ever want to achieve anything in our life,

Claudine
Right. And that’s the inner battle. It’s, it’s the primitive brain that wants to keep us safe and secure and comfortable. And then there’s that part of us the prefrontal cortex that’s more evolved, and that can read things and understand things and knows, wait, I’ve been promised this abundant life, I’ve been promised life to the full. And that’s what I desire. And it’s God’s promise for me, and I want to go after that.

Ashley
And that’s the logic and the reasoning part of our brain. Right, and the executive functioning, they call it but that is in constant battle with our fear with our primitive brain

Claudine
Right. And that’s why it’s so important to deal with our thoughts and our emotions. And we’ll talk more about that. But if we don’t get our emotions and our thoughts in line, our actions will never follow. Yes, so true. So Ashley, why don’t you share with our listeners? What are some of the healthy reasons for taking action?

Ashley
Yes. So it’s really important to take action, because it allows us to grow and allows us to learn, we also can reach goals, we can dare to dream, right? We can plan, we could just vision, what we want in our life, and we’ll be able to reach those if we take proper action. If we sit around and wait, it’s not going to happen, as you know, right? You said it was your way of living for a while.

Claudine
And nothing happened. Nothing good.

Ashley
Yeah. And I’ve heard stories of people wanting a job wanting a job. And I’ve asked, Well, what have you done? Have you gone into them? Have you submitted the application? Go in and introduce yourself? No, no, no. Oh, no, I don’t want to do that. Oh, no, no, you know, and I can totally identify with that and other areas in my life, you know, it’s, nothing’s going to happen, nothing’s going to be served on a silver platter, if you’re just sitting back waiting. And the other thing is fulfillment, right? I take action, well, all of us want to feel fulfillment and our life feel we have a purpose and a calling and to be able to walk in that. And that was one of the things that really discouraged me last year, when I was unhappy with the life I have, I had so much to be grateful for. But it all came down to I wasn’t feeling like I had a purpose. And I wasn’t contributing, and I wasn’t living out what I was meant to do. It wasn’t that I didn’t have a family to care and love and who loved me, it wasn’t that I didn’t have my health or my family’s health. My circumstances were great at the time. Inside, I was suffering, right, emotionally. And I realized it came down to I just was not fulfilled.

Claudine
Right. And I know for me, I got to the same point about seven years ago, where I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. And I decided to intentionally and with purpose, take actions that would get me the results that I want in my life, I decided I wasn’t going to sit back and wait for someone else to do it for me. I wasn’t going to sit back and wait for my circumstances to change. I really realized that made in God’s image. I am a creator as well. I am co creator of my life. And I really took that with intention and went after it.

Ashley
Claudine, can you share with our listeners? How do we go about taking action to get the results we want in our life?

Claudine
Sure, well, like Nike says, Just do it. And I know that’s easier said than done. But there’s a lot of truth in that and just doing something, doing something is better than doing nothing. And another tool I’ve learned is just take massive imperfect action. I’ve been learning that with my business coaching group. And that’s been so helpful. It means take big steps, don’t worry about doing perfectly. And just go for it. Take those steps that are necessary to get the results you want. And if you don’t succeed, if it doesn’t get you exactly where you want to be, at least you’ll have some new information and how to redirect your steps so that you can get where you want. That’s been super helpful for me and overthinker and a perfectionist like you shared earlier, who doesn’t want to do anything if it’s not perfect or right. And just realizing even if it’s imperfect, it’s okay, at least I’m going forward in a direction in to get the results that I want in my life.

Ashley
Yeah. And we’re always growing and learning. Right, right. And if we take one baby step, there’s growth in that and there’s also a lesson to be learned to keep us going forward.

Claudine
Yeah, absolutely. And another path powerful motivator for taking action is really understanding our why we really need to know what our Why is why are we doing what we’re doing? Why do we want what we want. And that has to be pretty clear. And if we’re not clear about it, it’s really easy to quit and give up, or not doing anything at all, because we don’t have a compelling reason to act. So that’s huge. Knowing your why why do you want a better marriage? Why do you want a healthier relationship with your children? Why do you want a healthy body? Why do you want to have sufficient finances? Those are all huge reasons to get to the core of why do I want those things?

Ashley
You know, I can relate that to the story of last year sitting at the pool, watching my family, I was really sitting and contemplating, what do I want out of my life? Is there more that I want out of my life, and I have my kids, I have my husband, I love them. I love our time together. We’re very family oriented. We’re very close. I wanted to be different. My why was I wanted to be someone else. I did not want to be timid, I did not want to be stuck in fear. I did not want to be insecure, I did not want to be afraid of conflict. I did not want to be so controlled by my emotions and even other’s emotions, right? I remember the day I sat there thinking, I want to grow, I want to be somebody different. I know I can be now’s the time I need to take action and get there and take the steps to get there.

Claudine
Yeah, that’s great. That’s awesome. And the last step really, which goes with all of this is really working on our thoughts and our emotions. We talked a lot about those two, the last two episodes. And it’s really important that our thoughts are in the right place that will help serve us because they drive our emotions and our emotions, generate our actions. And so a lot of times, if we’re feeling fear, we have to go What’s the thought behind that, and then change that thought so that we can replace fear with a different emotion, something that will serve us so we can take action. And other times it’s just feeling the fear and doing it anyway, I remember, my mother in law gave me a book of that title about 25 years ago, because I was so fearful and I had a new job and I was so timid in it. And she gave me this book, and it was called feel the fear and do it anyway. And I don’t remember anything of it. But I just remember the title. And sometimes we just have to do it anyway, no matter what emotion we feel. And that in itself will change our emotions.

Ashley
Have you seen that quote, going around social media, I see it a lot. Just do it afraid. And I love that because it’s the fear is not going to go away. I think for me, I was waiting for the fear to go away. But in reality that wasn’t going to happen. I had to come to terms with fear is part of life. It’s part of our genetic makeup and in our brain. But to the extent that I was experiencing fear, I was letting it ruin my life. And it was keeping me held back from who I wanted to be. And that was the point that I decided to change and something I was doing needed to change. And it all came down to my thoughts. When I realized what was going on in my head that was keeping me captive. The fear was coming from a place of not feeling good enough feeling inadequate, not feeling important, feeling like a burden. And that was a story I was telling in my head that just kept me so depressed in life and not happy despite these wonderful blessings that I had in my life.

Claudine
That’s right. That’s where so many of us are we have these false beliefs. And we have this subconscious programming, that even though intellectually we know all these things, underneath it all, there’s these beliefs of I’m not good enough. I’m not worthy, I don’t deserve this. I’m no good. And those drive those emotions of fear and insecurity, and then we don’t take action, which then recycles itself, it goes back to prove see you’re not worthy, you’re not good enough. You’re a failure spiral, right? It’s just this vicious cycle, and taking action no matter what helps break that cycle.

Ashley
Yeah, because every time we do that every time we change our thought, it creates new neurons in our brain, right connections, and that’s rewiring our brain, or hence renewing our minds, right? If we renew our mind, our brain will physiologically rewire to start thinking a new way a new pattern. And that’s why they say our thoughts create our feelings, our feelings, drive our actions, our actions, give us the result,

Claudine
Right. And it’s so important that you said that, that our brains are actually able to be structurally changed. And when we renew our minds, our lives are transformed. And I love that and that’s the truth that I learned quite a few years ago that really helped me change my life and really helped me get the results I wanted. And I’ll leave off with this in john 1317. It says now now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them. So friends, just go out there and do it and know that you are not alone.

Ashley
Friends, thank you so much for tuning in with us today. We hope this episode has brought you one step closer to living the life you love. Until next time, remember the world needs who you were made to be.