Overcoming A Setback

Episode #71

Have you ever felt like life was going smoothly then something happens that stops you dead in your tracks or knocks you off course for a bit? Whether it was in your health, in your career, or maybe in your relationships. Truth is, we all experience what can feel like a setback and it’s what we do with it that really matters. In today’s episode we share practical tips for overcoming setbacks and using it as a perfect opportunity to continue growing and learning.


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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Ashley
This is Episode 71. Overcoming Setbacks. You’re listening to the rise up and shine podcast with Claudine and Ashley as an empty nester and a mom with young kids, we have both shared very similar and very real struggles. From chaos to coaches, we now help other women live an authentic and meaningful life. So tune in weekly for girl talk and tips on how you too can rise up and let your light shine bright. This is the rise up and shine podcast.
Welcome back everyone. Today we are going to talk about a topic that is very helpful for us to get back up on our feet, when we feel like life has kind of kicked us off, you know, off our feet and we stumbled and we feel stuck or we feel overwhelmed. whatever have you. But today we’re going to be talking about setbacks, growth opportunities. Now what I mean by this is it really is a mindset thing and Claudine and I talk a lot about our mindset on this podcast, right Claudine?

Claudine
That’s right we do.

Ashley
Very much it’s so important. So setback or growth opportunities, and really is the way we look at it. It’s our perspective. And so today, we really want to dive a little bit deeper, because I think many, many, many of us out there are feeling like this whole pandemic has just created a whole setback in our lives. Many people were really going after their goals, whether that’s business goals, or personal goals, health goals. They may have been on track for promotions at their job. Some people have lost their jobs. And you know, there’s a lot of things that have happened. I know in my personal situation, I was growing a coaching business, and then lo and behold, I became a homeschool mom. So wait, wait a minute, God, I thought I was supposed to be on this track. Now, so Claudine and I have first handily experienced what we call quote, unquote, setbacks. But what we want to share today and really focus on today is, you know, really changing our thought about it and really seeing it as a growth opportunity. Because that’s really going to help us because some things, you know, happen in life that we can’t control. And we just want to keep going. We want to keep going.

Claudine
Yeah, 2020 we could name that the setback year, right? I think some people move forward, but many, many, many, if not most of us. We were set back, whether it was in our finances, our goals, our dreams, our travel opportunities, I know even relationships, a lot of relationships. The cracks were exposed, maybe the cracks were already there, of course, but they were exposed in all this together time and we’ve seen some big relationships end in 2020. So there have been a lot of setbacks and you know, setbacks are all through the Bible, right? I mean, the Israelites had a 40 year setback.

Ashley
Yeah.

Claudine
Really I mean wasn’t that like a four day journey that took 40 years. So and then of course Job I mean, when I was preparing for this, I thought you know who epitomizes the setback he had it in every area right family lost his family, his finances, right his finances to hit his he lost all his livestock his his way of living and in his livelihood, his health, right. A lot of people have suffered health this year clearly with the Coronavirus. there been a lot of health issues. We’ve had setbacks in the way we attend churches and worship together and hugging and all of those things, a lot of setbacks this year, but they were in the Bible, they’ve experienced setbacks. And like you said, Ashley, I think it really is about mindset. And if we have the proper mindset, and the proper attitude, we can grow forward, right, we can grow forward and learn from it and make something new and really come out emerge victorious on the other side.

Ashley
Right, you know, one of my clients that I’ve been talking with, we’ve talked a lot about this, we focus and I will rephrase that, you know, he will say setback, setback setback No, it’s not a setback. Let’s think of it as a growth opportunity. There’s always something to learn. And even for me personally and for any moms out there, I felt like this last year, I was a setback for me as a mom in regards to how I am as a mom and how the energy I give off to my kids, you know, with doing the homeschool and especially having one fighting me tooth and nail to you know to do school has gotten me very frustrated. And so in my emotional life, and my mental life, I will say I felt was a setback. I’m like, gosh, I had all this growth as a mom. I was so patient with them. I learned. You know, I grew so much in that area. And then it just felt like it all went out the window. You know, once we started doing virtual school, I thought, oh, gosh, I got to learn it all over again. But really we don’t, you know, really, it’s just our brains kind of go back to what’s familiar, right. And I mean, we, we’ve paved those neural pathways. And we mentioned that a lot here on this podcast, that we’ve just conditioned our brain to respond a certain way. And so it’s simple to get back on track the way we want to go. Because especially when you have the tools, right Claudine, and so knowing that we have the tools, it takes certain things it takes, acknowledging the situation, and just really looking at it head on and being having more grace with ourselves, I think also is very important, you know, being trying to ourselves, not shaming ourselves. And when we do focus on setback ashes is such a setback. It’s such a negative way of thinking, that might feel true, but it’s going to keep us discouraged and frustrated and stuck and stressed out and overwhelmed. And I mean, really the list can go on and on. I’ve experienced it all.

Claudine
Yes. You are not alone.
Ashley
No, absolutely not.

Claudine
Well, it’s interesting. It’s interesting that you brought this up because I read a great book recently called mindset, interestingly enough by Carol Dweck, a researcher at Stanford, and she talks about the two different mindsets that most people most people fall into. And the first one is a fixed mindset, where people believe that their qualities are fixed, and therefore they can’t change. So when they experience a setback, it really feels like failure. And it could lead to all those emotions that you talked about. I mean, it’s really hard to feel motivated, inspired. When you feel like a failure, right? And there’s so many things in our lives, we have goals that we’re going through, whether it’s just having a great marriage, or great parenting relationship with our children, or a great career. All these things are goals, they’re things we want, and a lot of it is in our control, but a lot of it isn’t. And if we have a fixed mindset, those temporary setbacks, those little step backwards, or sometimes as in 2020, those lots of step backwards, right? Sometimes I feel like it’s two step forwards and three steps back. 2020 for me felt like two steps forward, and 20 steps back, right. I’m like, Oh, my gosh, am I ever gonna get back forward where I was. But anyway, a fixed mindset can lead to those negative feelings, that feeling of being stuck and depressed and uninspired, unmotivated? The other mindset is a growth mindset. So I love that you’re using that term growth opportunity. So growth mindset, when we have that mindset, we believe that we can learn that we can learn skills or become intelligent, and whatever area that we’re looking to grow in and that those setbacks, quote, quote, those things that aren’t going quite our way. Or just like you said, their growth opportunities, the ability to learn something new, the ability to thrive on challenge and not see failure, as you know, a stopping point, but a springboard for growth. And so that’s huge. So out of these two mindsets, that’s where our thoughts and our emotions and our actions are going to spring from so it’s really important to have that, you know, have that knowledge and know Okay, we can grow this isn’t this didn’t go the way I hoped. But what can I grow from? What can I learn?

Ashley
Mm hmm. Yeah. And really quick, I wanted to define what a setback is. Also, it just means delayed or hindered, right. So whatever path you were going on, may have taken a little yields, right. And that’s okay, that’s gonna happen in life. But I think what we as humans tend to do is we think of it Oh, my gosh, is the end of the world, you know, and because it throws us in this loop of, Oh, my gosh, now what I do, you know, because we were on such a trajectory, whatever that may be. And then especially with the pandemic hit, I mean, 2020 hit, let’s just face it. It’s not just the pandemic, it’s all the other stuff that came in 2020 that people had to deal with. But it we take it, as, you know, almost like a black or white situation. My husband, I say that a lot like you really think black and white don’t see it was like, I don’t think so I really prefer to think in color. But maybe I don’t maybe I am a black and white person, like it’s an all or nothing, then you know, and so, that can happen to so many of us when we feel that step back when something like that happens and stops us in our tracks. And we don’t know what to do. We just haven’t necessarily learned skills and the tools of what to do. You know. And so, today in this episode, that’s exactly what we want to give our listeners because these are things that we use to get us moving forward. Because even though we’re coaches, it’s the same thing. We still have to constantly use these things to remind ourselves and kind of pick ourselves back up and help pick each other. You know, I mean, you and I, we have a great friendship and we’ve tried to help pick each other back up When we know we’re stuck in a situation.

Claudine
Absolutely, absolutely. And it’s and before we share the practicals, I’d love to share some of the emotions that some of our listeners could feel when they experience a setback. Yeah, when they’re going forward towards something. And then like I said, two steps forward three steps back, one of the first ones I know that I’ve struggled with is shock, like, what is going on here? Like, how did this happen? I don’t understand. shock is usually one of the first ones I feel because when I am going forward, I usually have a plan. Remember, I love to plan.

Ashley
This did not go according to plan.

Claudine
This did not go according to plan. I am shocked, I do not understand what is going on here. The next one, for me can be anger. Like why did this happen to me? Like, how could this happen to me? I planned I did everything right. You know, there’s different kinds of things that that could really be frustrating and anger could come up.

Ashley
And we can blame, you can blame a person we can blame ourselves, we can blame God.

Claudine
Absolutely. Another one is fear. Like what’s going to happen next, like I had this all thought through or, you know, people have lost their jobs, a lot of people lost their jobs last year, a lot of fear, like what is going to happen next and amen for the stimulus checks, but I don’t think 1500 1600 14 whatever they were, through the last year was enough to make up for people who’ve lost their jobs, their livelihood. So it could be a lot of fear. And then grief. You know, we don’t talk a lot about grief. We don’t talk enough about it. But there’s losses, we experienced losses every day, right? Or every week or every month, we experience life. And we we experience loss in our lifetime. And when we have setbacks, sometimes we can focus on the loss of the situation instead of the growth opportunity. So all those emotions.
Ashley
I loved what you just said. We say that again?

Claudine
What did I say?

Ashley
You said when we experience a setback, we can focus on.

Claudine
The loss.

Ashley
The loss.

Claudine
That is the growth opportunity.

Ashley
Oh, yeah, that is so true. And that’s what keeps us stuck. And we don’t like being in that place. But we just don’t always know what to do. But it is it’s, you know, as you said, grief, we don’t talk about it enough. And sometimes we refer to grief as losing a loved one to death, that there’s so many more griefs is that the right word?

Claudine
Yeah, losses, there’s so many more losses to grieve.

Ashley
There are so many more losses to grieve, aside from death, you know, some may be experienced with divorce, some may be experienced just that even that loss in connection with friends. Some people, you know, physical connection is so important, like the hugging, you know, not being in close proximity and just feeling the energy in the room or being with friends, like especially for extroverts, right, I mean, you feed off the energy of your friends when you go out. And when you don’t get that that’s a loss, that loss of free time. That was the big one I experienced, you know, I mean, having kind of trying to build this coaching business, and then now I got to homeschool. And, you know, yes, the teachers are also teaching them. But when you have a child who really needs a lot of help, then you also become the co-teacher and have to at least keep them on task. So there is a loss of time there, you know, loss of my I felt like it was a loss of my goals. Really. And it just totally threw us off track, you know, and they had like their schedule just got shuffled around. And yeah, so I just wanted to hit that point, because that was really good.

Claudine
Yeah, well, good. I’m glad you got something out of it. I barely remember what I talked about. Poor husband, he’s like, Don’t you remember? And I’m like, No, no, I don’t remember that.

Ashley
Well, and Claudine, you personally too are experiencing that. Yes. With the selling of your house and your daughter to another state. And you know, you have a lot of change going on right now that can very much feel like a setback because you have these goals in your business. That kind of take a little hiatus for you know, momentarily.

Claudine
Yeah, I feel like this whole last year with the house sale. That was definitely a setback. We had several offers that didn’t pan out that fell through. So we thought here we’re going to be closing and we’re going to be moving forward and then the deals fell apart. And now we’re finally getting ready to close here in another week or so and it looks pretty solid. Our kids, yes, they’ve just transitioned to moving to Idaho, one of one my oldest and her family. And then my oldest son is going to Colorado and the other two will stay where they’re at. And even for us, I mean, it took so long to sell this property and we literally have been living out of a suitcase for the better part of the year and even the other night, we had our last family dinner together at the house and just really celebrating all the memories that we had. And just the great times the great parties, the great moments as a family that we had in this home. And so we were making dinner and we had four forks. I know this is silly. It’s silly in the scheme of thing, but I’m like, I do not even have enough forks to feed my family. So our son went over and got plastic forks, which was, you know, an easy fix. But it has felt like a big setback this year, because it’s been, we’ve been in limbo for quite quite a while. But yet now being kind of on this side of it, and just really having a mentality of Okay, I know that these were my plans, but God planned something bigger. And I do think it requires some faith to when we have setbacks to go, Well, God is doing something even bigger. Here’s something I can’t imagine. And really, I’ve shared this I don’t know if I’ve shared on the podcast, but that those extra few months with our granddaughter have been such a blessing because their first six months she was colicky, and honestly, I was having a really hard time bonding with her. And God extended that time for us to be there with her until she was happy and joyful. And now I feel super bonded to her. So as they move out of state, I have that connection with her I think would have been really hard to develop, if I only saw her a few times a year. So I see the goodness that has come back from the setback, I see the spirit of spiritual relationship that my oldest son has just really blossomed, really gone after his relationship with God. And we’ve got to enjoy that we’ve got to have all these great conversations with him deep, spiritual loving conversations with him that again, had this house sold four months ago, we wouldn’t have experienced. So a lot of times things that we look at setbacks, God uses him as comebacks, right? Come back.

Ashley
There’s another good one Claudine, bumper sticker,

Claudine
Thank you could be a setback or a comeback, the way you look at it, right. And for us, we’ve to see our son come back to see our relationship, like come to fruition with our granddaughter, you know, God uses our setbacks to his glory if we allow him to.

Ashley
Right. And I it really takes that perspective shift, right? I mean, to think of the bigger picture, God works all things out for the good, doesn’t say all these things are good. You know, we’re gonna go through hardship and trouble. But we have to focus on the bigger picture, you know, and it’s so hard to do when you’re feeling frustrated and discouraged and disappointed and depressed and anxious. Even, you know, so it’s really hard to see that bigger picture. But it’s so rewarding when you can essentially train your brain to start thinking more of that way. Because it is it’s practice, you know, it’s not, it is certainly an easy task. It’s something simple, but it does take work. Yeah, that was great.

Claudine
Yeah, and all these things don’t necessarily feel good, they work for the good, but they don’t necessarily all feel good. And we have to remember that I think for me, and I shared this before, as a young Christian, I thought, Oh, my life is just gonna be, you know, springing through the meadow, I’m just gonna hop and skip through the middle of life. And obviously, that didn’t last very long. And very quickly, I realized, Oh, wait, I still face all the trials and all the challenges that are here in this world. But now I’m not doing it alone. Right? I have that bigger picture, like you talked about. I know there’s a bigger picture. I know that intellectually. Even when my heart hurts, even when my heart feels these frustrations and griefs and anger and fear all those things. I know that there’s a bigger picture. And I know in the end, it’s all going to be for the good, but it sure doesn’t feel like it sometimes, which is why we’re sharing why we’re talking about it. And I know we’ve got some great practicals to share. So Ashley, what you share with our listeners, some of the practicals we have that help us overcome and work through setbacks?

Ashley
Yes, well, I came up with the four A’s. The first one is acknowledge and acknowledge how you feel about the situation, yourself, and acknowledge your thoughts, and really become aware of what you’re thinking about the situation because those are huge. And as you said, you know, they’re not fun, you know, we try to strive for happiness 100% of the time, and spoiler alert, life’s not happy 100% of the time. Yet so for some reason, we think that’s bad. That’s bad. We should not feel these negative feelings. But we’ve said it before all feelings are God given all emotions are God given and we need to experience the whole spectrum of emotions, you know, but really to acknowledge that hey, this is the situation. It is what it is, this is what happens it you know, it’s just what happened, but really listen to your body and understand what you’re feeling. That’s the emotions, right? The emotions are energy flowing through our body. And that’s right tuned to what you are feeling about because what many of us did, it may still be doing? Or especially in the beginning, oh my gosh, I mean, we coped like no other really. And we probably still are. Now it just became such a habit after a year, you know, and just so engrained just cope to get through the day. And we all do it different. It’s Netflix, it’s alcohol, it’s coffee, it’s sleep, it’s, you know, relationships, whatever, if we all.

Claudine
I wish exercise had been my coping mechanism, that would have been a great coping mechanism.

Ashley
Those are the people who go on and exercise for hours.

Claudine
I’m gonna go run for an hour.

Ashley
Escape life. It’s a metaphor.

Claudine
Not my coping mechanism. You know, and I love, I love that you brought up acknowledge our feelings. I do think for a long time, especially as a Christian woman, I felt like I couldn’t. And if I did express a negative emotion, then my faith was challenged, like, well, you just need to have faith or, you know, and that happened to job. We see Job being open and expressing his thoughts and his feelings being really authentic and vulnerable, and his friends questioning him. No, it’s like, hey, it’s you. It’s your fault. What did you do, right? And so I think as Christian women, we have to be able to express our thoughts and feelings. They don’t define us. They are just temporary, vibrational things that come and go in our thoughts. We have the power, we have the ability to choose our thoughts. transformed by the renewal of our minds, we have that power that God has given us. And it’s so important to acknowledge where we’re really at Great, great, first practical.

Ashley
And you said right there renewal of the mind renew, that’s a verb, that’s an action, we have to take action to renew our what we’re thinking, and that’s why we’re talking about mindset. And when we talked about mindset, and you know, shifting our perspective and having a growth mindset, it does not mean do not feel negative feelings, not at all right? We do have to acknowledge our feelings, we do have to understand and really listen to your body. We feel our emotions in different places of our body, depending on what emotion it is, right? When I literally when I drove up in the driveway, because I dropped my kids off at school. Do you remember what that’s like, Oh, my gosh, after a year, I dropped him off there at school right now for three hours. I don’t know what to do with myself. But when I drove up in the driveway, I all this worry started popping up in my head. And I would I wasn’t even really aware of it yet. Because I was so excited. I was like, Oh my gosh, I get three hours to myself. But when I pulled up in the driveway, my body started tensing. And I felt in my body first. And then I paid attention to what I was thinking. So that’s what happens. We talked about our thoughts and feelings. But if you pay attention to what your body is doing, and where you’re feeling those vibrations, like my muscles just tensed. And where I typically feel stress is my neck and shoulders, which many of us do. And so I realized, Oh, my gosh, I’m stressed out what am I stressed out about? And then you just start asking yourself questions, right? What’s stressing me out what’s new, right now that could be triggering me. And it was dropping the kids off. And now I’m starting to worry, I would say could it be okay? Well, my children cry for me and they need help, and then their teachers gonna ignore them, and then they’re gonna be so discouraged. No, no, that’s not going to happen. You know, I mean, my mind goes there, but it’s not it’s a made up story. That’s right. It’s a lot we make up these stories that cause us to feel so many of these emotions. So let’s move on to the next because we can talk about our thoughts and feelings all the live long day. So yes, second one, accept this one is challenging because when we are triggered or when we are feeling more stressed, we tend to tighten up and try to control more. And this can be so unconscious. We don’t realize we’re trying to do that, you know, but it is like a defense mechanism is like oh my gosh, I got to pick up the pieces and fix fix fix and I got it. You know, many of us do this. But really what is it helpful is in a journal on a piece of paper, write it down. What about the situation you can control and what you can’t control. It is so huge, so powerful to get it out of your head. And actually, you know, divided paper and a half it’s so simple. What can I control? What can I you know, what can’t I control and you’ll see that oh my gosh, I am trying to control A B and C. I am trying to control my children still getting all A’s in school, but I’m not acknowledging the situation. You know, I am having the same expectations. For a very different situation. And so what happens is we try to keep life as normal as possible, you know, for good intention. But it does a disservice. Because now, you know, we’re just, we’re not going with the flow. And we’re not rolling with, you know, rolling with the punches. I’m full of all kinds of cliches today.

Claudine
Well, it’s so important to accept it too. I think for me, again, the in my earlier years, certainly my 20s failure was really difficult for me. And I had a really hard time accepting it, I definitely had a very fixed mindset, I felt like a failure. I felt like that was that my life was over. I can’t, I won’t amount to anything. I’m terrible mom, terrible wife, anytime anything happened, that wasn’t good and positive, it was really hard for me to accept it. And that’s, I think the beauty of growing older and aging and, you know, gaining wisdom through aging, which is awesome, is he learned to accept a lot more like, Okay, this is where I’m at today, this is what happened, it’s okay. I can accept this and still move forward in your right. It’s when we resist, when we don’t want to accept when we push back, we cannot grow, we can’t, and we will stay stuck. And we will stay frustrated. We have to accept whatever it is, like you said, What is in our control? And what is out of our control. So many things are out of our control this whole last year, if anything had taught us all is how much is out of our control. I mean, really, like we were all our whole lives were changed all at once. And it wasn’t in our control. Right. We didn’t make this happen. It just happened. And then we had to accept it and move forward.

Ashley
Mm hmm. Yeah, absolutely. So the third one is adjust. Adjust. So we have to adjust with the situation, right? Because as I mentioned, with accepting, we try to keep doing the normal things. And that’s what happened with me last year, I was kept. Well, this isn’t really that much different. You know, life’s not really that much different. And I wasn’t really acknowledging nor accepting that no, this is a big change. This is a big change. It was almost like I refuse to accept that this was a big change. No, no, I got it. I got I could do it. It’s fine. Well, we’ll get through. It’s gonna be all right. No, no, of course,

Claudine
I was the ones telling you and everyone else, oh, this will last for about two weeks. And then I was like, well, maybe two months. You know, I’m like, Okay, here we are a year later.

Ashley
Not two years, please, please. No, not two years. Adjusting to the changes, you know, right. I mean, lots of things changed for us. So trying something new, you know, I mean, just when I feel like I got a schedule down for the kids and I may that be cleaning school, you know, our podcast, like, Oh, my work, all that stuff, fitting it all in when I get a good schedule, then it changes again. Like now I have three different shapes, you know, schedules on my refrigerator that I have to keep track of, and I don’t know where I’m gonna put myself in there. So really being able to adjust Okay, something changed. Let’s try something new. We have to rearrange our schedule perhaps or let’s Google some new tips on you know how to best time management, listen to our last episode on daily planning, that is an excellent resource. But we have to shift, you know, how we do things as well don’t just try to keep going like everything is normal. We just got to move things around. And that’s okay. It’s okay to try something different.

Claudine
Yeah. And that definitely goes in with a growth mindset because we when we have to make adjustments, that means change, right? We’re adjusting something we’re making a change. And it may be in an area that we’re not accustomed to. I mean, I think about all the all the setbacks people in their relationships, I mean, if you suddenly find yourself divorced, that’s a huge setback. Now you have to adjust adjust to single living, adjust your budget, your spending plan, adjust all kinds of things. If you’ve lost a job, you have to adjust again your income and how that’s going to come in and adjust your time now instead of spending 40 hours a week working you may be spending 40 hours a week searching for a new job. So many setbacks, relationships, jobs, plans goals us for our business I mean right now I’m on the road. And so you know, we’re trying to record and you of course have your lovely office I’m looking at you and I’m in a small closet. I’m in a small dark closet. This is my recording studio.

Ashley
It’s kinda ironic, you’re in the dark and I’m in the light.

Claudine
I know. Let’s not get any spiritual from that. But I’m in a very small very dark closet trying to find an area where you know we can record without a lot of background noise. So here I am adjusting to the situation. So, you know, that’s so important that we get creative that we have this mindset that I’m going to make it happen, because we certainly, and we’ve talked about it before, we certainly could have said, we’re in the pandemic, we’re not in the same city, let’s just bag this podcast. But we both adjusted and we’ve gotten creative you with your time, you know, working around your kids school schedule, and me with getting creative how and where I do it, whether I’m on the road or back down in LA, or if I’m in the northern California area, then I’ll come over, but it’s been quite an adjustment. But here we are, you know, a year later still going, and I’ve seen quite a few stop.

Ashley
Yeah, and my children are in school, and they were my dog sitter. And so now if you happen to hear some noise in the background, a dog chewing his bone, so that way he’s entertained. While we’re recording, so, and then a little adjustment, alright, so the last A assert, assert yourself, keep going, you know, keep fighting for what you want. keep striving keep you know, all those encouraging words, keep going, just don’t give up. Don’t get discouraged. And that’s what happens to many of us. We feel disappointed. We had these expectations that you know, did not get met. We feel very frustrated. We just sometimes wallow in our frustration, right. It’s just I, you know, I guess I wait, and then we do the if, then mentality, right? Well if this change, then I’ll do it. Or when, you know, when then will, you know. The when then if then the when then. But really just asserting yourself, like don’t give up on yourself, you know, things happen, things change, we have to adjust. Feel the feels right? Yeah, keep going. You know, just because maybe you like, for instance, I stopped running last year because and I had a goal to run a half marathon at the end of the year. And I’m kind of grateful, you know, that things went down the way they did, because kind of let me off the hook there. But I stopped running because of the kid’s school, I didn’t know how to fit it in. I mean, I felt like they needed me all the time. And really what I learned is they didn’t, we kind of fell into this groove of mom was always available so they can shout for me whenever they need something. But yet, when I finally made the decision, I can go on a run and leave them home, you know, I can leave the house for a half an hour, I’m sure it’ll be fine. And then they were they were fine. But in my head, I did not think they would be fine. Granted they are old enough. I can, you know, go out on a run in the neighborhood for half an hour. But there is a lot to be said about that. There’s a lot of adjusting, but just have your goals, you know, reprint them out, I started having my goals, thinking about my goals again. And now having three hours to myself. Two days a week. Well, a total of six hours to myself two days a week. I’m I already have a list of things I’m going to do in that time for myself for my goals for my dreams. And yes, it took a big hiatus last year. You know, that was very much felt like a setback. But I’m going to take what lessons I learned in that period of time, and then it doesn’t go wasted. And I think when we really focus on our mindset and using it as a growth opportunity, then it doesn’t feel like I wasted a whole year doing nothing. You know it maybe it felt like that. But there are lessons to be learned. There are areas to grow in from that perspective, you know, from that. So that is something really important to take in and be like, Okay, this, you know, like, my passion for even writing a book is still there, like seeing the future of, you know, the future timeline of when the kids are going back to school, that passion I had inside my heart, like burning about, gosh, I’ve really just want to sit down and write a book just came back again, you know, because I my dreams were basically reemerging. And that prompting my heart. And you know, one thing that was so cool, God hears it to God know what’s on your heart. And interestingly enough, when I started dreaming about writing a book again, this week, yesterday, someone sent me a super encouraging message saying that I should pursue my writing. It’s like, out of nowhere. So not someone I keep in contact with on a regular basis. But she thought of me. And she sent a message she like, obeyed God’s prompting to send me a message of encouragement. I thought, Oh my gosh, God, like that was exactly something that I could use and hear in the moment to like to kind of solidify this as something to do just go for it. You know what I mean? So I just want to share that With encouragement, whatever your goals are, whatever you had, it’s never too late. You may have stopped for a little bit. It’s okay. You know, just get right back to it. If that’s something you really want to pursue, it’s okay.

Claudine
That’s right. And you know the secret to writing a book Ashley’s to go away for a week to a mountain cabin by yourself. That’s the secret not I’ll be more than happy to go with you if you need that.

Ashley
No. We’ll call it an accountability partner,
Claudine
That’s right. I’ll be your accountability partner when you want to write your book, but I think I’m gonna comment on assert because I love that that that’s one of our practical tips for dealing with setbacks. assert means to state or declare positively. And I love that to just keep declaring positively our goals or the direction of our dreams. You know, we’re here because we want to live our best lives. I do believe that that brings glory to God when we live our best lives, right? When we manage our emotions, when we manage our mindset, and really go after living life to the full and I think to asserting that God has for us like even when we have setbacks like you said I can I can blame like why why me and why God why God right? I can question God, but assert that his plans are for me. Just remember declare positively that God is for me and like you said that he works all things through the good, it may not feel good. And those things may not be good. But in the end, it all works for the good. So, listeners I hope you’ve enjoyed listening to setbacks versus growth opportunity. Let’s just all continue to grow forward no matter what, and live this great life to the full.

Ashley
Alright everyone, thank you for joining in on our conversation here on the Rise Up and Shine podcast. If you haven’t already, please take a second to hit that subscribe so you’ll never miss an episode and while you’re at it, share this episode with a friend who you know it can bless today. If you wanna visit us as well on our websites, you can catch Claudine over at claudinesweeney.com and Ashley at mindoverchaos.com our links are at the description. We also have some free resources there for you as well. So remember ladies, no matter what you are facing in life, it is never too late to rise up and shine and live your best life.